» The Birthday Cake » Posted by Kitten
This is a photo of the cake Master ordered from the bakery for my birthday… Um.. YUM?
» That My slavery isn’t a gift post, again » Posted by Kitten
Well, I seem to have ruffled at least one set of feathers with my slave worship post from a few weeks ago so I’ll address it further. It was about me not believing that my (personal) submission is a gift and believing that those notions make no sense to *me*. I’ve gotta say, I don’t expect people to really do much more than read this blog and move on with their day so when people do have a strong reaction, I feel like I should address it. What can I say, I’m a fixer. I talked to Master about it, and he said it could have been the title and not the opinion that sounded like an accusation. It was a tad inflammatory, I have to say in hindsight. He suggested that I change it to “A question of gifts” and I did.
Anyway, I read over my post again and I still stand by everything I said as it pertains to my relationship. I wrote about my view of romance in my own M/s relationship. I wrote about what I want and what I need to feel what others feel when they say that their submission is a gift. The post (I thought) laid out what my perfect M/s relationship would be. (That’s what I meant with the ‘I don’t want x… I want y… passage) It’s what we both want. I thought I was just giving another side to the coin which is the (evidently handful of women) who don’t consider their submission a gift and who “romanticize” the notion of being taken, used up, objectified, and loved all the more for surrendering to it. I don’t want to be on a pedestal. I don’t want the worship in our relationship to be mutual. I thought that was all I was saying but evidently I said a lot more without even realizing it!
When the topic came up on fetlife, I was able to express another side of my opinion on the “my slavery is a gift” tobic and maybe this will help the person seems so upset about the first post. The gift thing It’s just not something I think of as part of my dynamic and my owner, when asked if my submission was a gift, said “obtaining a gift shouldn’t be so much work for the person receiving it!” so I guess HE doesn’t think my submission is a gift, either. 
So here are the relevant parts of what I said in fetlife just a couple of days later. Some people agreed, some folks didn’t but that’s always the way, isn’t it? I did use phrases like “I believe” and “to me” to further show that these are my opinions and I don’t expect others to espouse them. I try to use phrases like that in most of my posts (including the one that has so upset the other reader) because that’s really the only point of view I can hope to represent. My own. That’s it.
I can’t get down with telling my owner that my submission is a gift because it always sounds a little wonky to me. Gifts by nature aren’t conditional. If you give someone a gift, then you have no say whether they cherish it or put in on a shelf and never use it, or trade it to someone else, or wrap it and give it back to you as a gift next year.
Submission is conditional. Even if remains unspoken it’s still understood. Submission is something the submissive could take back if conditions are not met. Even “Sane Safe Consensual” is a set of conditions. It’s usually mutually agreed upon but if he changed his mind, you’d have to renegotiate the terms under which he’s allowed to KEEP “gift” and you might consider taking it back and giving the gift to someone who does what you want them to do with it. You might even call what he did with the gift, “abuse” and take it back on those terms.
I believe that submission is a contract and a contract is not a gift. It’s an agreement. I would only consider my submission a gift once I get to the level of surrender where it is not a contract and it’s not conditional and I expect nothing in return; Not even his dominance. I’m aspiring to that level but I don’t know anyone who’s reached it because as humans, we’re hardwired against it.
I don’t expect anyone to agree with me. I’m just putting my point of view out there.
So there’s a little more about what I think regarding submission as a gift. I hope it clears the air a little bit with the reader who was upset, but if it doesn’t I don’t know what else to do. Either way, thanks for reading and I’m sorry if my opinion injured you in any way. I’m just using my blog to say the things that are important to me from my perspective and hopefully without harming anyone else. I think that’s what we all strive to do. Evidently my opinion, this time, bothered someone deeply enough that it’s still an issue and I wanted to address it openly. I’m not going to retract my post because it’s still what I believe. I just wanted to make sure that the reader knew that never did I say it was what he or she should believe.
Kitten~
» I’m Tired and my Asshole Hurts… » Posted by Kitten
Well, birthday celebrations are underway and I’m plumb tuckered, Ya’ll. I got my birthday flogging where Master used the “years + until I get tired of hitting you” approach to birthday spankings. I got trussed up with rope shibari style for the very first time and fucked so hard I think I might have another concussion… HA 
Of course, we were so excited about finally getting rope that didn’t turn me unto a giant red blister that we didn’t know what to do with ourselves!
But I’ve still got 2 more days of birthday celebration before it’s over and I’ll give a full account once all is said and done.
I have found that you do get a lot more spankings if all your friends are kinky… it’s not quite fair. I think I’m going to do a Benjamin Buttons and start aging in reverse.
Back soon!
Kitten, the Birthday girl.
» Tackbras are from the devil, kinda… » Posted by Kitten
We don’t play a lot and most of my slavery is based on service so it’s easy to forget that my owner is actually a bit more sadistic than I like to think.
So a couple of weeks ago, we were sitting around and I was reading kaya’s blog and I said (mostly to myself), “Oh wow.. that fucking tack bra again. She’s INSANE!!”
Master looked up from his book and said “What was that, Kitten?”
“Oh, nothing Master. Just looking at kaya’s crazy blog. She made a bra with tacks in it and her owner makes her wear it sometimes and it just looks really painful. I think I could handle the spiky spatula better than that tack bra…”
Master replies “And she made it?”
“Yeah, she made it. she’s crazy.. she’s always making things for her owner to hurt her with and coming up with stuff.. WHY would you do that? I wouldn’t do that…”
At no point does it occur to me that I’m being way to free and easy with this information. At no point does “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP” even cross my mind. We rock on and talk more and I find myself describing how easy it would be to make a tack bra. How easy it would be to even convert that idea to say, TACK PANTIES. Master just keeps asking questions in a sweet and unassuming voice and I keep answering them like an idiot.
We went to bed. It was no big deal. I didn’t think of it again until Master and I were out shopping a few days ago and he said “Let’s go to the hardware area…”
He got light bulbs, some dremel attachments I wanted, some upholstery tacks, a hacksaw blade, a can of pressurized air… he looked at a shop fan and decided not to get it. I’m mindlessly pushing the buggy not even thinking about anything.
We got home and Master put everything away and tossed me the tacks. That’s when it all came together. So I spent the night making a tack bra and a pair of tack panties as well. I tried to figure out ways to make it less painful. there’s no way to do that. I tried to figure out how to make less of the tacks poke through the fabric. There’s no way to do that. I tried to figure out how to make Master think this was a bad idea. I knew there was no way to do that. It was a proven method. kaya beta tested it on herself! So I finished the construction of the two garments and put them on. I cringed and hissed and Master grinned and slapped my breasts and tried to shield my breast but it didn’t help. Master was happy. I was worried.
The next day, I had to wear them both on a 4 hour round trip that included a trip to MY MOTHER’S HOUSE. I got hugged by people and couldn’t hide the pain on my face. I sat more still than I ever have in my life. I didn’t talk much. Didn’t move. The jerks of the car were agony. As soon as I got used to the inserts in one position, he made me remove them and change the position. There was no peace. But by the time we got home, the little pricks here and there were less difficult to bear. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it.
When we got home, I messaged kaya on fetlife and said
“Master made me make tack bra inserts and I don’t know whether to hug you or kick dirt at ya.”
She responded and shared my love/hate.
I love you, kaya. but keep your painful ideas out of my head!
